Smokin' Grass!!

This is a great video from the 2011 Women's Cyclocross Championship of Europe.  The course is pretty unique, unlike anything you typically see in the World Cups or World Championship courses.

Championnat d'Europe cyclo-cross 2011 from Petitesreines on Vimeo.

The End of an Era

Well, I knew it was just too good to last. I've had a great run, sandbagging my way through four years of cyclocross.  Mechanicals, crashes, food poisoning, intoxication, I've done everything possible to keep my cross performance at a respectable level of mediocrity.  It's not easy to make it look like you're actually trying when in reality you're putting out just enough effort to get by and not totally embarrass yourself.  During my first year in the Master C's I was new to cross and trying way too hard.  I managed to get a few decent results and it looked like an upgrade to the Master B's was inevitable. Fortunately I found help:

Brian Jones' Complete Sandbag Training Course saved me from the dreaded upgrade. Utilizing Jones' patented method I managed to finish out that first season with a couple of top 100 places and the threat of being forced to race with people who actually take bike riding seriously was narrowly averted.

Over the next few seasons I took my sandbagging training to new heights. I purchased DVD's:

Found a fantastic group of training partners:

And even hired the man himself, Brian Jones, as my personal trainer:

(Disclaimer: this isn't a picture of the author of The Complete Sandbag Training Course, Brian Jones. This is actually the "other" Brian Jones. The famous rockstar, and original Rolling Stone, Brian Jones. And you have to admit, this is a great picture of him.). 

Right, so where was I? All was good in my cyclocross world. My palmares in those early years included epic 44th place finishes, sprinting for the line with doughnut eating dudes from Team Muffin Top (what ever happened to them by the way?). That's back in the day when I was rockin this look:

But then, something strange and incredible happened. It started last season, at the OBRA Cross Championships. All of a sudden, the entire Master C field started to really suck! They all collectively got really, really slow, seemingly overnight. I can testify to the fact that in four years I haven't gotten any faster, yet I seemed to be placing a lot higher in races. I tried everything I could to avoid getting top 5 finishes and risking my coveted Master C status. But to no avail. No matter how hungover I showed up to races, no matter how many times I crashed, or how many times I threw my chain, those damn Master C's just kept getting slower and slower. And so, on Monday of this week I got the bad news via the OBRA list serve. MANDATORY UPGRADE!  No congratulations, no peck on the cheek from the podium girls, not a shred of recognition for my long career of under achieving. Just a cold, impersonal email from Candi, my name listed with a handful of other equally unlucky slobs who  managed to place just a little too high in their second to last race of the year.

So, this Sunday at PIR I'll be lining up with the Master B's, doing my best not to get lapped.  If you see me out there this weekend looking like this:

I'm either a) looking for the leaders as they come pedaling by or  b) checking out how good my ass looks in my skinsuit!! Either way, cheer me on and feel free to offer up a beer, or two!! I'm gonna need to try a lot harder if I want to downgrade back to Master C's next year.